Hello there friends! I hope this finds you chilly and dry but well. I am so incredibly grateful to have celebrated through the grace of Mike, 60 days of entire abstinence on February 23rd. If you had told me 62 days ago that I wouldn't be bingeing on $74 a day of Taco Bell in two months, I would have called you a flat out liar. Such is the nature of self-will. By finally accepting that I am a raisin never ever to be returned to being a grape, I have received the miracle of recovery that I only once dreamed about. I have true freedom from the disease of compulsive overeating, one day at a time, as long as I let Mike steer the direction of my life.
From the hell of a prolonged, 20 year, self-will fueled relapse, I am now planing the eventual remodel of my childhood home. I have a dear friend from grade school who is a divinely gifted artist. Leah Bishop Newton is part of the Visual and Performing Arts team for Elk Grove Unified School District. Her paintings hang in galleries and win awards. To say, "Girl has got it going on" would be a mild understatement to be sure. And I had a fleeting thought that I might commission an original to go over the fireplace in what will be the great room. I reached out, me being a woman of action as opposed to talk now ODAAT, and asked her. She very sweetly indicated that she was swamped but we could see. Like a true diplomat and dear friend, she left the door open for future discussions. I contently went on my way.
My roommate Nicole has become quite fond of adult paint by numbers. Very reasonably priced on Amazon (along with most things), she's now starting her second painting. Much to my dismay she is reluctant to allow me to put her first attempt on the side of the fridge. All good artwork goes on the side of the fridge if you remember, regardless of the opinion of the artist. I want to cheer her on and will ask Mike how far do I lovingly push this. He'll let me know.
Inspired by her new hobby I looked on Amazon and threw yet more money into the Jeff Bezos' retirement fund. I found a lovely floral portrait I really liked and ordered it.
The journey had begun.
As I begin this considerable project, I am acutely aware of how similar recovery is to paint-by-numbers. They both are long term projects. They requires dedication and attention to detail. They require perseverance. They start with abstract forms, only to end in a beautiful picture lovingly put together by our Higher Power. As long as we faithfully and genuinely apply our efforts, we are assured a picture that is more accomplished than we could have achieved on our own. What was a small blob of effort or a surrender of perfectionism becomes an experience that captures a journey. We are different and better than we were when we began. We have something beautiful we want to share with others. We have something that we have earned that is priceless and unique.
The color of the paint by numbers just so happens to coincide with the couch color I want to put into the newly remodeled great room. I have decided that regardless of the perfection of the finished project, it will hang over the fireplace when I am finished. I have no idea when that will be. But I know this, the colors are bold, rich and beautiful. They are bight and vibrant and welcoming. They are part of the home that I am creating one day at a time thru the miracle of the 12 Steps.
I think Mike would like them a lot.
Thanks for reading,
Kathy K
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