Someone I love very much lost a family member to the disease of alcoholism. Far too early. I am heartbroken for them, and myself. It’s brought up a lot of grief about my mother. My mom lost her life due to her addictions. And I thought I had gotten over that through my own work in my recovery. But this has brought it all up for me. That addiction robbed me of the mother I deserved. A mom who could put the needs of others before her own. Who was scared and angry and bitter. Who was jealous of the relationship I got to have with my dad because her’s died when she was 7 years old. Who never told me I was pretty. Who made me feel ashamed of my own sexual awakening that was totally benign and age appropriate. Who made me feel ashamed of my weight and size. I could go on and on.
They say that recovery is giving up the hope of a better past. And the Big Book also says that Acceptance is the answer to ALL our problems. I guess I’ve got some more work to do. I’m glad I know what to do. And that I have the willingness to do it.
Thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment