Plot Twists

 Hey there family.  Wanted to give you an update.  I spent from 5/12-5/16 inpatient in a mental health hospital, severely manic coping with my bipolar disorder.  The good news is that I find ally have medication to help me manage the ups and downs.  It’s a gift.  

But being labeled a bipolar is hard.  Lots of judgment.  I’ve lost GOOD friends who should have been there to support me.  And can’t or wouldn’t do that.  The way I have done for them.  I don’t care how long I’ve known you.  Even if it’s 30 or 42 years you’ve gotta go.  They’re out of my life and won’t ever be back in.  Because if I forgive them, it tells them that it’s ok to treat me the way they have.  And it’s not.  Not ever.  I won’t cast my pearls before swine.  

And the guy who rescued me from Tahoe has left the picture cuz he’s gotta focus on his kids and the divorce comes to a conclusion.  I told him his dedication to his children was the most attractive thing about him.  I am disappointed but grateful.  

I started volunteering for a healthcare advocacy organization that is so liberal it makes Che Guevara look like a Maga.  And they need my help. So I get to be of service with my talents.  I love being there.  

Thru that group I met a kid, he’s 24.  I joked I was old enough to be his mom.  He said he wished he’d had a mom like me.  I discovered his mom had died of a drug overdose 2 years ago.  I offered to be an older woman to support, encourage and kick his butt if necessary.  He happily accepted.  We talk every day.  At the end of the conversation he says, “love you mom”.  MY HEART IS FULL!  

Because I’ve missed my chance to have biological kids.  That ship has sailed.  And I’ve been involved in the raising of my godsons.  They’re good men.  I’d like to think I had a tiny bit to do with that.

But here’s a kid who needs love and support and I have it to give.  Why wouldn’t I take the leap.  Every time I’ve taken a leap of faith since December 23,2022; I’ve been so richly rewarded.  This has been no different.  He’s my kid, and I’m his mom.  For life.  

But it gets better.  He’s new in recovery.  I’m so excited for him.  Cuz the life that I love is all because of recovery.  I can be there for him because of recovery.  And I will be.  Every step of the way, one day at a time.  Thanks you God! 

When you go to an all girls high school there is a phase of endless bridal and baby showers.  It was no different for me.  I’m gonna hold a shower cuz surprise! “ITS A BOY!”  I’m just kidding.  

But if you say prayers in the moment, drop one for Ryan, my son.  He’s absolutely hands down, the best kid I know. I’m so lucky to be his mom.